Tip 6: Letting Go is Powerful

One key lesson that I’ve learned in my 25 year journey is that it is often more powerful to let go of what’s not working in your life than trying to ‘figure out’ what you need to ‘do’ to move forward. We all have habits, activities, behaviors, beliefs, and/or people in our lives that hold us back in some way. Choosing to let go of what is no longer serving you can be a game changer. My 6th tip: Letting go is powerful. 

As the new year approaches, many of us are looking for ways to have a happy, less stressful 2022. My suggestion: set the intention to ‘let go’ in 2022. Start by asking yourself - “What in my life is holding me back from living the life I desire?” Letting go can be as powerful as setting resolutions and goals. 

Here are a few personal examples of letting go:

A few years ago, I joined the Marie Kondo craze and I decluttered my townhome. It was amazing how much I shifted by simply letting go of things that were cluttering my physical space. I felt more energized, creative, joyful, and peaceful at home. Since then, I periodically make time to let go by decluttering.

Have you ever felt a shift from just decluttering? Please share in the comments.

About 15 year ago, I dated a guy who brought drama, chaos, and craziness into my life. After we broke up, I reflected on how deeply I had gotten wrapped up in the “crazy”. I reevaluated many situations in my life and decided to eliminate drama from my life. I found that there were people in my life that I needed to let go. With other people, I set boundaries. When they attempted to pull me into gossip, or involve me in a drama filled situation, I did my best to politely walk away without judging them. After making this shift, my life became less complicated and more peaceful. 

What could be possible in your life if you let go of drama?

About 10 years ago, I led the data migration practice at a pre-IPO company. The company had 3 very complicated products that took months to learn and years to master. I developed expertise on the 1st product and was getting up to speed on the 2nd. I had never worked with the 3rd product. One of the company’s clients needed a consultant to lead the data migration of 3rd product (the one I didn’t know). One of the company’s directors (“Bob”) asked me to fill the role. With my lack of experience, it was clear to everyone involved, including Bob, that I was not a good fit for the role. I had a long discussion with my manager where we agreed that I would not do the role. Instead, for the time being, I would only focus on my existing clients, working with the two products with which I am familiar.

A few weeks later, something didn’t work out and Bob needed to fill the role immediately. On Thursday, I got a message from Bob - book a flight, I need you at the client’s site on Monday morning. I was to represent our company as the data migration specialist on the 3rd product. I panicked. My manager was on vacation and unreachable. I tried to reason with Bob. I told him about my agreement with my manager. I stressed that I knew nothing about the 3rd product, that I felt like I was being set up to fail, and that I had several other clients that I needed to continue supporting. Bob responded by bullying me, insisting that I just suck it up, stop complaining, and show up at the client on Monday. To make things worse, Bob was working onsite at the client, and would likely continue to bully me once I got there. 

I had already been working long hours, feeling stressed out, and struggling with a culture that was toxic at times. The company’s IPO was less than 6 months out, so I wanted to hold on at least until my stock options matured. Yet, I was feeling overwhelmed, angry, helpless, and trapped in a no-win situation. I had also reached my boiling point with Bob. I wasn’t sure that I could maintain my professional presence while at the client’s site if he continued to browbeat me. I was pretty distraught. I stayed up into the night trying to figure out how I could make this situation bearable. All I could envision was things getting worse. My leadership had already shown a pattern of not respecting agreements or boundaries, or protecting people in similar situations. 

When I woke up the next morning, I saw a path out of the situation. I could let go. Instead of booking the flight, I turned in my resignation. When my two weeks were up, it felt as if a massive burden had been lifted. I didn’t realize how big of a toll that job had had on my mental health until after I left. 

I later realized that I had been depressed. My self-confidence was rattled. It took me a few years to fully recover from the emotional strain of that job. In addition to struggling with self-doubt, part of me kept beating myself up for not being “strong enough” to stay just a few months longer (after the IPO, my stock options would have been worth tens of thousands of dollars).

Letting go can be hard and seem to cost you. Yet, in retrospect, even with my lost financial opportunity, I believe that letting go was the best choice for me at that time. Yes, I probably could have found a way to stay the months until the IPO, but at what cost?

I now believe there is no price you can put on your mental health.

Have you stayed in a situation that negatively affected your mental health? Most of us have. How did you shift once you finally let it go? Did you feel lighter? Please share in the comment section.

Letting go is a very powerful tool. Much like decluttering our home, letting go in other parts of our lives shifts our energy and opens us up for new possibilities. If you are feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, stressed, burnt out, confused, angry, or simply unfocused, there may be something you can let go of to help. 

What will you let go of in 2022?

Do you have thoughts, beliefs, people, clutter, drama, or projects in your life that are holding you back or negatively impacting your mental health? Are you spending time on activities that no longer bring you joy or satisfaction? Are you telling yourself stories that keep you stuck? Do you have something in your life that feels very heavy? Have you been procrastinating or are dreading doing something?

Take a moment to think of the one thing that would have the greatest impact on your life if you were to let it go. Pause (maybe close your eyes), and imagine how your life would be after you let it go. What might shift for you? What would now become possible? How would you feel? Now consider what other things you can let go of. They can be as small as letting go of some clutter in a cabinet or as big as letting go of a toxic job, or a relationship that’s run its course. There is no limit to how much more time, joy, happiness, and peace you can bring into life if you let go and leave these things behind.  

My 6th Tip - Letting go is powerful.