There is nothing special or different about the killing of George Floyd

What’s appears to be “different” about the George Floyd murder is that for the first time, many people are looking at police violence against a black man from a new perspective. What’s new is that this is the first time that violence against black men is sparking genuine outrage from some non-black people. 

I’ll say it again to those of you who are suddenly outraged by the George Floyd video, this isn’t new. The truth is that this type of violent behavior has been going on all throughout this country for your WHOLE life. I want you to be clear, the only thing “different” here is how you are reacting to it. If there had been no camera, just witnesses describing what happened, you probably would not have ever noticed.

For many, seeing this blatant act has been a wake up call. If you are like many others, you feel outraged. You may have an overwhelming desire to do something. You want to make sure that the people who did this are punished. While that is a noble sentiment, it doesn’t help. 

You see, this is not a “one off” situation. It is just the tip of a very big iceberg. Focusing on the tip of any iceberg doesn’t solve anything, it just makes people feel better. Too many times in my life I’ve watched white outrage over a specific incident, followed by years and years of lip service, indifference, or obliviousness to the ongoing treatment of blacks, especially black men.

So I ask you, are you really committed to doing what it takes for the long term to change the system? Will you focus your rage on this one incident (seeing that 4 perpetrators are punished), feel better about yourself, and then return to passive indignation? 

Unfortunately, with the depth of the racism in this country, we as black people can’t solve this on our own. For years, actually for decades the black community has tried to elevate this atrocious issue of violence against black men. For decades we’ve been met with deaf ears. We’ve been told that we were over-reacting. We’ve been accused of playing the race card. We've been told that we’ve been imagining what we have always known to be undeniably real. 

The general population has focused on each incident as a separate event. Never focusing on what actually happened instead changing the dialogue to the imperfections of the victim. Instead of listening to eye-witness accounts, the assumption has always been that the police are always truthful. Every once in a while, much like the killing of George Floyd, the situation is so blatant that there is a reaction. For a moment there is a collective outrage. Unfortunately it doesn’t last, the next news cycle happens and once again, no one outside of the black community seems to care anymore.

Right now, there’s a collective energy that says that this one is different. Many non-black people are claiming that they finally “get it”. That this type of violence against blacks is truly unacceptable. That something in the system must change. We’re going to take a stand against this. If this is your sentiment, this may sound harsh, I have two words: “Prove it”. 

Being outraged on Facebook and Instagram doesn’t change the reality for black Americans. Going to a single protest march doesn’t keep black men safe. All these do help people feel better about themselves. Let me be clear, this is a great start. I applaud those of you that have taken a stand. And I remind you that it is just the tip of the iceberg. 

Einstein said “You cannot solve problems by using the same type of thinking we used when we created them” In order to have lasting change we all have to take a long look at ourselves. What are we willing to change about ourselves?  How many times have we known in our hearts that something was unjust, yet took no action? What actions are we actually willing to take now? Will we stand up when someone does something racially insensitive when it is not blatant (like the George Floyd video)? 

To really make a difference, we must tackle ourselves and systematic racism. We must be willing to take time to acknowledge our own biases, not to make ourselves wrong, but instead to use our awareness to help us shift. I ask you: Will you take it upon yourself to learn about how prevalent this issue is in our nation? Will you ask yourself how have I and others been treating our brothers and sisters of all races and religions, when they come under attack? Will I be open to truly listening when someone points out hidden racism in a situation?  Will I listen with empathy? Martin Luther King once said “He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it. He who accepts evil without protesting against it is really cooperating with it.”  

This weekend I’ve already seen the focus of many shift away from the attacks against a black man to the senselessness of rioting. Let me be clear, I do not condone in any way the use of violence or looting. It is senseless. Yet, many of you may be surprised to hear that even with my pedigree and Ivy League education, I understand it. Again, I would never participate or encourage anyone else to riot. But, I do understand it. Helplessness is a powerful thing that can cause people to explode in unhealthy ways. People will often go to extremes to gain attention. Even in self-destructive, senseless ways.

So let me explain what I mean by saying I understand. For my entire lifetime, I have seen police treat black men with violence, with little or no consequences. I’ve also seen the black community stand up time and time again, almost always in non-violent ways only to be marginalized by the larger population. Each time we capture this heinous behavior on video, we collectively hold our breaths hoping that our cries to stop this senseless violence against our men will finally be heard. Unfortunately we never get to exhale. Time and time again, this blatant abuse of power that is obvious to us, is ignored by the general population. Sure, in a few cases, the officers get a slap on the wrist, but almost never does the punishment fit the crime. More importantly, nothing substantial is done to prevent the inevitable next time. The overarching narrative remains that each incident is a separate thing, not a true indication of a deep seated systematic terrorism against black men. 

After most of these incidents, there are non-violent protests. People march, people post on social media, athletes take a knee. Yet nothing significant changes. With the Black Lives Matter movement and the taking of the knee, not only were the protestors not heard, they were publicly attacked. As in the Black Lives Matter movement, if a fringe faction does anything non-violent, it becomes the whole focus. The conversation about the abuse of black men is once again ignored. When I say I understand, it is not to condone violence. I just understand that when you put a lid on a powder key, it eventually explodes. It’s unfortunate, and it’s inevitable.

I find myself filled with so many emotions, that I too exploded. Yesterday morning, I sat on the floor and just cried. Tears from the sorrow I feel for the family of George Floyd. Tears from the frustration from how often this happens. Tears from knowing that it is unlikely that anything long lasting will come of this. Tears from the anger I feel when the narrative is shifted to something political. What really tears my heart apart is the helplessness I feel when I see and talk to my black brothers. I see their incredible strength and I see their pain. I see them try to “man up”, pretending that the feeling of powerlessness isn’t tearing them apart.  And I cry for the devastation that I feel when one of my brothers lets down his guard and vulnerably shares how afraid and exhausted he feels.  

I cry for the black mothers. I cry for the fear they face every time their son gets behind the wheel of a car. For the pain that they feel when they have to have “the talk” when they teach their sons how to survive a traffic stop. How black mothers have to teach their sons that can’t speak up for themselves (even when they are being treated unfairly). How the mothers are willing to compromise their values in order to see their child live another day. Can you imagine having to give “the talk” to one of your children?

So I ask you again, what are you willing to change? What actions are you willing to take? Are you willing to be with this struggle for the long haul? Seeing 4 officers held accountable for their actions would be a good start, but it can’t be the only objective. What needs to happen is fundamental change to the system. We need every precinct in this country to hold all of its police officers accountable for their actions.  We need the illegal use of violence against black to become an offense that results in convictions. Martin Luther King stated: “Change does not come on the wheels of inevitability, but comes through continuous struggle.” Too often, the black community has seen fair weather friends. Are you willing to see this through until justice prevails?

On another note, no matter what you think about the president, this is not something that Trump did. This type of behavior has been going on long before Trump and it will not go just go away if he does not get reelected. Yes it’s easy to argue that he sets a tone that allows this type of behavior, and it is still irrelevant to the true problem. 

I’d also like to add that I believe that most police officers are good people. Those who just want to do what is right from a true desire to serve are put in a very unfortunate place. While they are trying to be change agents within their departments, they are lumped into the narrative of racists cops. Other officers have gotten caught up in a system of bias. They have become part of the problem not from hatred, but instead because the culture of their police forces have taught them to be silent and protect each other before all else. They have no intent of malice, yet they are complicit in the senseless violence against black men. FInally there are the thugs in uniforms. They operate In a system where there is no punishment for behavior. They become emboldened to do whatever they want, terrorizing black men.  

So you may ask, what can I do? 

First and foremost, you can commit to staying with this struggle until police are held accountable for every act of violence against black men, big or small. And you can commit to stay with the struggle until we have a justice system that consistently convicts police officers when they commit violent acts against black men. 

Second, you can educate yourself and actively become a voice of change. You can relentlessly speak up every time something unacceptable is said or done, no matter how small. You can learn which narratives are racist and stop tolerating them in your communities and in the media. But most importantly you can look at yourself and understand that you have a lot of internal work to do. This struggle is about violence against black men (and women). It has absolutely nothing to do with your guilt or you feeling good about yourselves. Indignation without will to get uncomfortable, to endure criticism, and to take risks is not helpful at all.

Third, you can come up with ways to help black men feel held and supported. I shared with you how much it hurts me to see the extent of my brothers’ suffering. I wish that they could know that there are thousands and thousands of people that empathize with their pain. It would bring joy to my heart if people everywhere showed love and support individually to every black man that they encountered. To let them know how sorry you are for not hearing them and not supporting them. To share with them your commitment to hold them in the future.  Not from a place of guilt but from a place of love and solidarity.