Tip 1: There Are No Rules
One key lesson that I’ve learned in my 25 year journey is that every rule has an exception. Often a rule isn’t really a rule at all. My first tip: When faced with a “rule” that is impeding you in some way, treat it like an obstacle rather than something that is actually set in stone.
While I’ve always pushed boundaries, I still believed there were “rules”. In the late 1990s, after a short-term project working for TVA in Chattanooga, I began working for them part time. At the time, remote work was uncommon. Because they valued my work, they had agreed to let me work mostly remotely, yet insisted that I drive from Atlanta to the Chattanooga office once per week. In 1998, I took a summer IT contract in Chicago and I resigned from my part time job at TVA (I love Chicago and hate winter). TVA didn’t want me to go and asked me my reasons for leaving. I stated that I couldn’t work for them anymore because I would no longer be able to come into the office. Without hesitation they said, “no problem, you don’t need to come in.” Clearly the “rule” had no inherent value and could be broken.
Over the years, I’ve observed how often people, including myself, have broken, or bent, what were supposed to be inflexible rules. For example, in 1991, I interviewed with and was hired by IBM during a hiring freeze. I had no clue about the hiring freeze until my coworker asked me incredulously “How did you get this job, there’s a freeze?” Fortunately someone else had broken a “rule” to get me hired. Had I known there was a hiring freeze, I probably wouldn’t have considered applying. Because the “rule” was ignored, I became one of only two corporate new hires at any metro Atlanta IBM office in 1991.
Sometimes it seems that rules only apply to people who believe they are real.
I invite you to take a moment to ask yourself: “Where in my life have I been stopped in my tracks by what I perceived to be a ‘rule’?” Then consider: “What could have been possible, if I had tried to bend it or break it instead?”
Every inconvenient “rule” can be questioned. When I hear someone say “You have to do this” or “You can’t do that”, I simply ask “Why?” or “Why not?” It’s amazing how often the response is a dumbfounded stumble followed by some version of “because that’s how we do it”. Over the years, since I started questioning “rules”, I’ve noticed that between 25-50% of the things that I’ve been initially told are inflexible, have shown to have exceptions when I was willing to build a case. A great rule of thumb: if someone is unable to articulate the “why”, keep probing. Look for a solution that works for both parties.
Changing your perspective about “rules” creates an opening for new possibilities.
Too often, we are held back by what appear to be firm “rules” that might benefit from being challenged.
Some examples:
“You can’t get a 20% raise, the most is 5%”
“You can’t do this role without this credential”
“You have to have had this experience to do this role”
“You can’t take more than 2 weeks off”
“You must follow <insert bureaucratic procedure> before you can move forward”
“This work must be done at the office”
“These steps must be followed in this order”
“You have to do it this way, it’s the only approach that has been approved”
“You have to wait <insert timeframe> before you are eligible for something”
You get the idea.
I believe there has never been a better time to scrutinize “rules.”
One of the unexpected benefits of the COVID Era is that it has exposed the fallacy in many of our “rules” about work and life. I challenge you to reflect on the rules that you are currently following. Do they make sense? Are they serving you and your business?
Where in your life have you questioned the efficacy of a rule, yet followed it anyway? Are “rules” holding you back in some way? Are they impacting your professional effectiveness or quality of life? How might it benefit you to bend or break them?
What are some rules that don’t make sense to you? Share them below and we can brainstorm ideas for reframing them.
The next time you are faced with a “rule” that seems to be written in stone, I invite you to remember:
“There are No Rules”
Julie Allen is a Leadership and Personal Transformation Coach who helps her clients lead powerfully and effectively, in alignment with their values and inner wisdom.